


Itachiyama is a mess

by cowomet



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Crack, Hijinks & Shenanigans, implied iizukomo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-06
Updated: 2021-02-06
Packaged: 2021-03-18 18:13:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,250
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29247840
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cowomet/pseuds/cowomet
Summary: Sakusa runs out of hand sanitizer. Iizuna has to sneak into Japan's Youth Camp. Komori just wanted Wendy's.
Relationships: Iizuna Tsukasa & Komori Motoya & Sakusa Kiyoomi, Iizuna Tsukasa/Komori Motoya
Comments: 5
Kudos: 30





	Itachiyama is a mess

**Author's Note:**

> crackfics are my real specialty. also stan itachiyama

It was a late evening, a little past six with the winter bringing the moon out early, when a phone call interrupted Iizuna's study night. He glanced at the caller ID, slight annoyance turning to confusion when he saw it was Komori. Calls from him weren't uncommon, but they probably should be right now, since he's still at Japan's Youth Camp with Sakusa until Sunday. He accepted the call and put it on speaker, about to ask if something was wrong, but was interrupted by yelling from the other line. A *lot* of yelling, at that. 

"Komori? What's going on?" He can't recall the last time something dangerous happened at that camp, other than a collision or two, but seeing as his kouhai were there, he wouldn't be surprised. _Maybe this all started because Sakusa saw a cockroach. That'd make sense._

_"Sorry, Atsumu and Kiyoomi were fighting - anyway, Tsukasa! We need your help!"_ Komori's voice sounded half panicked and half amused, which did nothing to help with Iizuna's confusion. _"You've gotta come here!"_

"Just tell me what's wrong," he said, sighing and pushing his textbook away from him. "What's with all the screaming?"

_"Kiyoomi ran out of hand sanitizer and he just gave someone a handshake, and I'm pretty sure he's dying!"_

_The only surprising part about that is Sakusa not having a bucket of hand sanitizer._

"He never runs out of hand sanitizer. How'd that happen?"

_"Hoshiumi managed to grab his hands!"_

"Oh. Makes sense." He glanced out his window at the darkened sky. "Don't they have any there to give him? I remember the coaches there being pretty nice; I'm sure they'd get some if you asked."

_"I wanted to, but Sakusa doesn't trust their hand sanitizer. And I offered to try and sneak out to buy him some, but apparently I'm unsanitary, and I didn't bring any money with me anyways. So you're our best bet! After all, if this messes up how he plays tomorrow, it'll make Itachiyama look bad; you don't want that, right?"_

Shit. He couldn't argue with that. And he wouldn't want Sakusa to spend the rest of the week worried about getting sick just because he doesn't have hand sanitizer…

He sighed, rubbing his eyes. "Fine; give me an hour to get there."

_"Thanks, Captain! Oh, can you bring me something to eat, too? I'm in the mood for burgers."_

"They serve food there, though?" 

*"Remember, Tsukasa, Hoshiumi's here. He eats everything in sight and leaves nothing for the rest of us. Pretty please?"*

"Fine, whatever. But you're paying me back for the food."

_"Not the hand sanitizer?"_

"Sakusa doesn't steal my lunch everyday; I'll spend a little money on him for that."

_"The favoritism is strong here. You don't even love me, do you?"_

"Motoya, I'm getting you Wendy's."

_"That's one way to prove me wrong! Oh, yeah, you're gonna have to sneak in here, by the way. The coach told us if they found out anyone that wasn't invited came here because of us, they'd send us back and have our coaches bench us for the next few games. They've really tightened security since last year when Hoshiumi snuck two of his teammates in and they didn't find them until we were all about to go home anyways. I doubt they'll change that even if you are here for good reason, so you've gotta find a different way in!"_

"Motoya, I'm not sneaking in."

——

And that's how Iizuna ended up here, balancing on the branch of a tree next to the window of what Komori said was the room he and Sakusa were put in, holding a Wendy's bag in one hand and a convenience store bag filled with little containers of hand sanitizer in the other, praying to every god he knew that no one would see him.

_They just had to up security this year? They couldn't wait one more? Damn…_

As carefully as he could as to not fall off the branch, he leaned forward and knocked on the window a few times before Komori opened it. 

"Hey, Tsukasa! How's the breeze out there?" 

"About to knock me off this tree if we don't hurry this up," he replied, passing the libero the bags and waving to Sakusa, who was a few feet behind Komori. "I need to go before someone -" 

_"Hey! What're you doing up there?!"_ An adult's voice called from the distance. Too far for them to see exactly what window he was at, from the sounds of it. 

"- sees me!" He finished, Komori running out of the way to let Iizuna jump into the room. He slammed the window shut and looked over at his teammates. Komori was sitting there, silently panicking, while Sakusa was furiously dumping hand sanitizer onto the palm of his hand. "So...what the hell am I supposed to do now?"

Komori opened the Wendy's bag and offered him a single emotional support fry, which he took gratefully, and then turned to his cousin. "Kiyoomi, give Tsukasa your Itachiyama jacket! He's not wearing his, but if he's got yours on, people won't question it as much when he tries to run out of here because they'll think it's you."

"Iizuna-san is blonde, Komori. I doubt anyone will fall for that. Not to mention he's shorter than me." Sakusa said bluntly. 

"Well yeah, but we'll run fast enough that they won't see that! There's a backdoor downstairs that people don't pay much attention to; we can get him out from there. You owe him for coming all the way here for you; help the guy out!"

Not for the first time, watching as Sakusa huffed and took off his track jacket, Iizuna wondered why he associated himself with these two. He took it and put it on when the ace held it out to him, still too busy recovering from this entire situation to provide much input on Komori's plan. 

"I'll wash it and give it back next practice," he told Sakusa while Komori pulled the setter up to his feet. 

Sakusa just nodded. "Thank you for the hand sanitizer."

"Anytime." 

Komori stuck his tongue out at the two of them. "Your favoritism is showing again, Tsukasa."

"Hey, I got you a frosty! Actually, let's have this conversation when I'm not about to sneak out of this place." 

——

Hoshiumi looked up from his plate of food, watching as Komori and who he was _pretty sure_ was Sakusa run past the cafeteria. His first thought was _Hey, I wanna run, too!_ , but by the time he stood up, the two were already long gone. 

"Hoshiumi-kun!" One of the coaches called. "We're pretty sure someone snuck in. Have you seen anything?"

"Nope!" He yelled back, going back to his food. Wait, why would Sakusa and Komori be running, anyway? Eh, not his problem. He'd just ask later.

——

"Over here, Captain," Komori whisper-shouted, finally slowing to a speed walk as he led the way to the backdoor. 

Iizuna turned the knob, letting out a relieved sigh when it was unlocked. "I'm never doing this again, just so you know," he said, checking if the coast was clear before stepping out. 

The libero laughed like he just _knew_ that wasn't true, and it pissed him off that he was right. "Yeah, whatever, Tsukasa. Now go! Be free!" 

_"I still expect you to pay me back!"_ were his only parting words, and then he was running again, starting to wish he'd elbowed him or something instead.


End file.
